I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
