I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
