All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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