You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
