New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
