Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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