Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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