She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
