yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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