Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
