I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
