so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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