Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
