I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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