ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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