I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
