Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
