If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
