They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
