So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
