i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
