I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
