He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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