Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
