Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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