I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
