Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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