Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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