She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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