Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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