Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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