i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
