brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
