You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
