I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
