dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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