she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
