I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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