The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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