I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
