So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
