if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
