that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
