broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
