No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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