I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
