i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
