well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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