I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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