i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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