i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
