I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
