woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
