try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
