Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
