but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
